Have you ever said to yourself, “when am I going to get beyond this……” or “why did this have to happen to me again?” I have been struggling with a very old, very deep issue for what seems like forever, and once again it reared its ugly head last week. Over the years, I know I have peeled back many, many layers of this particular wound. Try as I have to blame others or justify or rationalize in order to find some peace, I now know without a doubt that the lesson is mine and mine alone! Others who have been involved are just teachers along the way (even if it doesn’t always feel that way!!) Others have their journey – and their involvement with us is part of that - but we are ultimately each responsible only for our own journey and the lessons to be learned along the way. Lisa sent me this wonderful quote from Pema Chodron in perfect timing a day or two ago and I have been meditating with it over the weekend in response to my emotional pain. “NOTHING EVER GOES AWAY UNTIL IT TEACHES US WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW.”
I’ve historically been one to quickly go to therapy, read another book, receive another healing – all wonderful supporting practices – but this time I KNEW with every cell in my body that I have to go inwards and employ my wise inner self to teach me what I need to know. The message I got in my silent meditation on Saturday was “love, just love; love is the key, just love yourself and others,” or some other rendition of the same thing. Of course, this was exactly what I need to hear.
The intensity of the feeling I wanted to go away has already loosened its hold. It hasn’t magically left, but I am confident that it will. I know myself well and understand my own lesson here, on many levels. I certainly know that I want to learn what this particular lesson has to teach so that I can move beyond it in this incarnation. I know where to go for answers. What I Know to Be True is that I can feel my higher Self rejoicing at my acceptance of just that. How true it is that everything happens for a reason and holds a growth opportunity if we just let it! THAT is freedom, and I am so grateful.