Rediscovering the Track

Rediscovering the Track 

 

Boyd Varty, master tracker, writer—The Cathedral of the Wild--and owner of the Londolozi Game preserve in South Africa, writes:

 

“I’ve learned that nothing is worth doing if it cannot be done from a place of deep peace. If we want to restore the planet, we must first restore ourselves. I believe that you find your way to your right life, your mission, the same way you find an animal. First you quiet your heart and be still. Then find the fresh track and be willing to follow it. You don’t need to see the whole picture; you only need to see where to take the next step. Life isn’t about staying on track; it’s about constantly rediscovering the track.”

 

Having just made a life-changing decision, I ask myself: Was it done from the place of deep peace that Varty describes above? I think not. Nonetheless it was—like many of our seemingly abrupt decisions-- done from an unconscious accumulation of experience and awareness.

 

Still, I think Varty has said it all and I admire the way he wrote it in his remarkable book about growing up on Londolozi land in South Africa. Reading the book, we witness the lively, sometime hilarious and sometimes frightening story of his journey into adulthood that brought him into the wisdom expressed above.

 

 “First quiet your heart and be still.” That means waiting. Many of us are not so good at that. Waiting. My wise son said about my pending decision to sell my beloved English cottage, “Wait three days, Mom, and then see what you want to do.” I waited the three days—three days are so symbolic—and then I was certain it was time to let it go. Sometimes the wait needs to be much longer than three days. Perhaps, as Ina Garten has written about her decision to begin to

 write cookbooks, a person might need to wait a year to find “the fresh track.”

 

Being still and waiting allows the Universe, God, the Great Choreographer in the Sky, to do some things: shift some ideas, create some space and open some minds, including our own. All of the above, and so much more: miracles that we cannot fathom.

 

Waiting makes us feel powerless because we are not doing anything. In our action-oriented culture, that’s bad news. In eastern cultures there are three acknowledged and accepted states of mind: yes, no and I don’t know. 

 

“I don’t know?”  People in the west tend to think you are a wishy-washy no-account if you don’t know what to do next. I remember my youngest son returning from a visit to Ohio—where he was born--after spring vacation of his senior year in college, and saying to me, “Everyone wanted to know what I was going to do and I had to say I don’t know. It was awful, Mom!”  (This man—not so young now---has seven television Emmys to his credit.)

 

A friend of mine retired from teaching a month ago and almost everyone she runs into asks her what her plans are. Travel? Moving? She laughs, waves her hands in the air and says, “Summer!”

 

Finding the “fresh track” and being “willing to follow it” takes courage. We need to trust our intuitions and also, if we are a bit off the mark at the start, we are urged to be mindful that that we can shift our course. Making adjustments, learning from our errors, in my mind, is the most significant life learning we can accrue. And, as Boyd Varty writes, “Life isn’t about staying on track; it’s about constantly rediscovering the track.”

 

“Rediscovering the track,” Yes. The process of rediscovery challenges us to remain alert and alive in our own existence. What a great way to live!

 

Written for Unleash Potential by Cecily Stranahan, our companion on this journey of reflection and self-discovery. Visit Cecily's Blog at LifeOpeningUp.blogspot.com

Collective Compassion

There isn't much left to say that hasn't already been said about the Newtown tragedy and yet I felt compelled to share this with you as it touched a chord with many on Facebook: "The collective consciousness of compassion, as experienced around the globe, has elevated that vibration to a transformational level...we honor the little ones and the grown ones who have passed in a way that is helping humanity rise to a higher way of being..."

This perspective doesn't alleviate the sadness (an inadequate word for what we feel), nor should it. It is through this depth of feeling that we truly understand that we are one, we are all connected. It does, perhaps, allow us to find a way to send gratitude to those beautiful souls, assisting them in their transition to a more loving dimension.

In loving empathy ~Lisa

A Snapshot in time from 39,000 feet

As I write this blog, I am at 39,000 feet, at best guess somewhere above Arkansas or Tennessee. My weekend away is over, I have finished my book, and I find myself pensively sitting back and looking out of the window. It’s a clear, sunny day, and a smooth ride and the word that comes to mind is “awe.” I am filled with wonder and I notice myself smiling. I am “mindful” as opposed to “mind-full”. The details of the landscape below are crystal clear in their beauty – incredible patterns and artistic patterns. A patchwork quilt of shapes, colors and contrasts – rivers and fields, dark and light, open land and forest. The rivers create designs that remind me of pictures I have seen of the neurons in our brains. There are straight lines and curvy lines, points of brilliant light where the sun hits a building or two while others remain in the shadow of one or two small puffy clouds. Filled with complexity, contrast, light and dark, yet completely “perfect” from my perspective at 39,000 feet. From up here, I can see the connection between everything. I have a sense of weightlessness and timelessness as I remember my own childhood excitement of first plane trips. “Magic,” I thought – and this morning is just that for me. I am fully present, relaxed and feeling the joy of being alive in this moment.

Living and working towards being more in my Truth has tapped me into the ability to fully feel the awe of my life, at this moment. It’s perfect just the way it is – filled with a complexity of experiences and emotions, the peace I feel now contrasted with the sadness of a few hours ago when I said goodbye to my son as he sets off on an adventure of his own, filled to the brim with both uncertainty AND possibility. There’s also some melancholy that a weekend much anticipated and looked forward to is now over – and yes, I am still filled with wonder at THIS very moment as a soar at 39,000 feet. This, I realize, is the richness and complexity of being alive, every minute of it!

With gratitude for my life’s experiences, each one of which has brought me to today,

- Caroline

Boring your Friends - Living in the Present!

There is no question that the value of living in the present is beyond measure. Living in the present allows us to concentrate our attention on what is happening right here, right now, without distraction from the “what-if’s” and “what could-be’s.” Letting go of unresolved issues of the past or a belief that yesterday was a happier time; letting go of future promises [when I ________ then I will _______], allows us to focus on the here and now. Letting go reinforces the amount of energy directed towards our current actions, interactions and relationships. We can truly hear the voices of others when our minds are not drifting.

Imagine letting go of the worry about the past and projections of the future. What a relief!

The good news is that your family and friends will appreciate your intense focus on their conversation of the moment, your attention to the relationship. The bad news is that they may find you a little more boring than in the past.

Boring because your conversation may no longer include the dramas of last week, those shared stories with their exciting twists and turns. Instead your conversation will be focused on today, right now….and some of that “right now” won’t be interesting news. That might not sound very exciting to the one you’re sharing with especially when we’ve become so used to hearing about and anticipating the shared drama.

However, the benefits received in truly living in the present will far outweigh any disappointments about your ability to entertain friends and family! You will feel calmer, more peaceful, with renewed energy, as your energy won’t be drained away by what already occurred or what is yet to happen.

Accomplishments occur effortlessly when energy is not diverted. The clarity of work and play happens on a whole new level, one that refreshes and renews along the way.

It’s probably one of the greatest challenges, to live in the present, yet when achieved, even if one moment at a time until it becomes a more regular habit, it is difficult to articulate what life feels like. I can only urge you to try it. When you find yourself drifting backwards in time, say to yourself, “What I Know to Be True is that I’m here, I’m now.” When you find yourself dreaming of what you will do upon reaching a goal or accomplishing something down the road, say to yourself, “What I Know to Be True is that I’m here right now and although I see clearly what is on the way, my focus is here and now.”

What We Know to Be True is that magic happens when you live in the present…so let us know how this exercise works for you and what magic happens for you…

-Lisa

The miracle of your body

I finally get it – my body is my best and most loyal friend! It’s there for me day in, day out, heart beating and lungs breathing, giving me the gift of life, to do with as I will. It occasionally reminds me that it is there, and that I need it, when it tires of the judgment I bestow upon it or the abuse I hurl at it, verbally or otherwise. I have been known to feed it foods that bother it, to name it as “too this or too that” (usually derogatory remarks); when I look at it in the mirror it is often with a critical eye. Sadly, I have been lacking in gratitude for all it does for me.  But however I treat it, my breath keeps coming and going steadily. This realization has revealed the truth of my body and changed my feelings about it! That it can be trusted, that without it I would not have life. I have shifted my relationship with my body to one of gratitude beyond measure, kindness and gentleness – and it is responding back to me in kind. I am noticing when it is hungry, or a little under the weather, or in pain, or tired. I am paying attention to my best friend, with loving kindness. I am noticing when I feel less than kind, and softening my response to myself.

Take a moment and try shifting your response to your body. Just notice your self-judgment for an hour, a day, a week, and see how you treat your body. Then smile at it as if it were your very best, most loved, friend, and see how you feel. Take a moment in silence watching the coming and going of your breath, in and out. What I Know to Be True is that that is truly a miracle!

- Caroline

Going with the Flow: The art of Living & Loving

Caroline and I had lunch one day as we often do on Tuesdays when she is at her office in Norwalk. At one point she shared how grateful she is to have a circle of friends who don’t take offense easily and who can go with the flow. It had been a weekend where plans were somewhat fluid and having the ability to stop in and visit at leisure or confirm plans at the last minute simply made life easier. Such a wonderful reminder that we tend to make life harder when we have expectations, take things personally, or stay too rigid in the patterns that we love - or at least have learned to be comfortable in. Resentment or hurt feelings based on unrealized expectations can affect a friendship. If we carry around a perceived personal insult the relationship is marginalized. When we feel that a friend didn’t conform to our schedule the irritation can take hold and fester.

Imagine letting go of all that wasted energy. Energy spent on wishing things would be different, taking things so personally, analyzing every nuance of a conversation. Imagine if the energy instead was spent living and loving.

So let’s start by recognizing when we are taking something personally. Stop and ask why that is the case. Is it truly that the other person acted out of dislike or disrespect? Could it be that there were other factors in play? Wouldn’t it be helpful to find out before fostering that personal injury?

Move the energy into recognizing that a friend might just have had a more pressing need, even if the need was for them to just be still. Move the energy into appreciating that our own need can not outweigh the need of our friend. Move the energy into just letting things be.

What I Know to Be True is that when we honor our friends and allow them the space just to be, we release the binds of obligation, the need to deliver, or the requirement to explain or apologize. We can then just live and love.

~Lisa

I See You

Every day we rush around, going to school, to work, doing errands. How often do we really see the people we pass along the way? How often do we even look them in the eye? Or do we scurry by hoping not to engage and thus be deterred from completing our mission in the precious few minutes we’ve allotted? Conversely, have you ever had an experience when you connected with someone you didn’t know, maybe shared a moment’s experience, eyes smiling into theirs, and then walked away filled with the elation of having touched spirit to spirit?

Derived from Sanskrit, the Indian greeting Namaste is often translated as “from the light within me to the light within you.” How beautiful!

And the following excerpt from the blog, http://sheilaochugboju.posterous.com/sawubona-i-see-you-africa-knows, blew me away:

The Zulu greeting, “Sawubona” means “I see you” and the response “Ngikhona” means “I am here.” I love the depth of meaning that African languages carry. Inherent in the Zulu greeting and in the grateful response, is the sense that until you saw me, I didn’t exist. By recognizing me, you brought me into existence. A Zulu folk saying clarifies this, “Umuntu ngumuntu nagabantu“, meaning “A person is a person because of other people.” We are liberated by our connections to our community and when they truly see us, they offer a mirror to our inner selves that allows us to freely connect.

Wow! What a departure from our simple “hello” or “hi”!

For don’t we all just want to be seen for who we really are?! To be seen, not just as a first impression, but as a multi-dimensional human being with many gifts to offer.

Through her artwork our wonderful friend, Antoinette Martignoni, taught us the need and the value of being seen. She shares this on her website www.youareseen.com:

YOU ARE SEEN. Knowing we are seen is to see with new eyes our neighbors as ourselves.

Imagine shifting our perspective to truly see another person in a way that acknowledges who they really are; letting go of the judgments about appearance, accent, intelligence, behavior, and seeing the light that shines from their essence. And when we do, miraculously, they in turn begin to view us through a more accepting, appreciative lens.

As an exercise, next time you are walking along and pass another, silently say, “I see you.” Feel what happens inside. Feel the light that begins to peek out and that grows every time you repeat this experience. Let your light shine and by simply doing so you will unleash the light of others.

Please share any experiences you may have with this exercise – we’d love to hear about it!

~Lisa

My Wish for My Daughter

My husband and I have never been one to rush our children to grow up. The magic of childhood, with the inherent lack of responsibility, the unbridled creativity (when not stifled by well-meaning educators), the un-jaded and excited welcoming of all that life has to offer, is so short-lived that we encouraged our children to retain their youthful perspective as long as possible. Not an easy task in this culture which for some reason encourages us to grow up as quickly as possible. I can’t quite figure it out. Who would want to take on responsibility before they have to? Who would want to give up unscheduled time to relax and dream?

Growing up today seems to be defined by an urgency to get into the job market and become a consumer. I watch the high school population press to dress like adults, rush to drive, work in order to be able to purchase material goods, and take on tasks that would be challenging at any age.

That is not to diminish the many great contributions being made to society and to the global community by teens; in fact I am in awe of what some young people are doing today. But the ones who do it out of passion, rather than to fulfill their community service requirement for college applications, are the ones who actually didn’t rush to grow up. They are the dreamers of what can be, not what is.

Talk to passionate dreamers and you will find people who don’t take “no” for an answer and who get “yes” simply by deigning to ask, like my co-author Caroline’s son, Chris, a college graduate who has been working on a global poverty project that is taking off like a rocket. [see more information below]. These are the kids who are not looking at life as something to be lived in linear fashion: attend college, graduate, get a job, make money, buy a house, marry, have kids, etc. Nothing wrong with that vision but those who are able to think out of the box are the ones who will change the world.

Changing the world requries imagination combined with the ability to co-create with ease. As Einstein said: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” The best way to encourage inspiration is to allow the dreaming to happen. When our kids are over-scheduled and asked to deliver to high expectations in order to fulfill the linear life vision perpetuated by society, we risk losing potential dreamers who can bring new and creative perspectives to a world crying out for just that.

My daughter (who by the way would cringe knowing I’m writing about her) is attending a 5-week program in interdisciplinary arts, including dance, theater, African drumming, poetry, visual arts, song-writing, playwriting, photography and film, along with leadership training. The ultimate mission of the program is to create new advocates for the arts, much needed ambassadors for the dwindling funding of these programs.

In the application essay for the program, she wrote, “My theater teacher once told me that the reason musicals exist is because when someone can’t express their feelings through words, they sing and when singing still can’t fully express how they feel, they dance. For me, dancing truly is the ultimate form of self-expression and over the years it has helped me get through anything, even by choreographing pieces to that perfect song in my head.”

Creativity is healing on many levels, for the individual and for the world, and I am so pleased that my daughter has embraced her creative path at this critical time in her life.

So, my wish for my daughter is that she never stop dreaming and creating, never stop being silly and finding the humor in life, in fact never stop giggling (as Caroline and I are known to break into fits of), and never rush to become a “mature adult” with the inherent seriousness that growing up implies.

~Lisa

[To learn more about Chris Temple's extraordinary project, please check out www.LivingOnOne.com and be sure to “Like” it on facebook www.facebook.com/LivingonOne to help them raise money!]

 

 

 

Take a look inside

How many times have you heard phrases like “the answers lie within” or been guided to “listen to your inner wisdom?” Yet we continue to seek those answers outside ourselves, time and time again, projecting our intolerable feelings onto others, blaming and acting out those emotions we think we can’t handle. I did just that this week, taking out my own uncomfortable feelings on my poor husband, until - thank goodness – I eventually realized what I was doing, paused and changed direction (but not until after I had caused some damage!) In the moment of being triggered, it’s counterintuitive to turn towards the painful feelings – after all, we want to get away from them and give them to someone else! The paradox is that, by turning towards them within us and acknowledging their existence with compassion, we are able to find relief. It is not WHAT happens to us, but rather how we RESPOND to what happens, that determines our experiences. How cool! We are actually in charge of creating an easier experience or relationship! I also think about the numerous times my darling mother would say “live for today and tomorrow will take care of itself.” Isn’t that the same as saying “be present” and “trust” that the rest will unfold? She was wise. It’s simple, yet we make it so very complicated with our desire to control every outcome. She would also say, “treat others as you would want them to treat you.” Again, isn’t this the practice of compassion and kindness? Simple, simple, simple (but, as we say in our book, What I Know to Be True, not easy.)

And it all begins with an awareness that we’re straying, made clear by the icky feelings we get when do so, followed by that magical “pause” before turning inward, with compassion for ourselves and others, and making the necessary changes – in our words, actions or deeds. And if the feelings are just too painful, we can use images or imagery to just “be,” ground ourselves and breathe through the moment. It will pass.

Take a look, won’t you? Wishing you a wonderful week, from my heart to yours.

~ Caroline ~

The "new" recipe

The “new recipe” that we are being asked and guided to use in these times has a different set of ingredients from those that worked in the past.  Incorporating these into transforming the struggles of our lives is so important, as the energetic shift occurs from the paradigm of past centuries to the rising energy of the feminine.  Some of the key ingredients for us to be aware of during this time of shift – of birthing – are the feminine energetic characteristics of

  • Nurture of ourselves - and others
  • the energy of love,
  • heart-centeredness,
  • open heartedness,
  • connectivity,
  • presence,
  • intuition,
  • creativity,
  • gratitude,
  • letting go of control,
  • speaking our truth despite what others think,
  • body work and nurturing the physical self with food and exercise,
  • nurturing the soul,
  • taking quiet time in which to listen,
  • increased “being” and less “doing”
  • allowing feelings to surface,
  • giving more weight to the internal self vs the external demands of money, possessions and power,
  • passion
  • trust

and more.  I have heard from my clients, my friends (and experienced it myself) about powerful emotions that are arising right now.   They can be so challenging to cope with; the shifts of mood that sometimes seem so extreme.  I know nothing about astrology, except to know that the astrological energy shifts that are occurring at this time are affecting many of us in different ways.  It seems that we are being asked to allow our feelings to show themselves, rather than always using the mind to justify and explain.  This shift to a more "feeling" state, although uncomfortable for many, helps us to flow with, rather than against, this natural shift in the universe.  Gently say goodbye to fear since it serves only to close our hearts and limit us in every way.   Answer the call to awaken with awareness and trust that we are all being guided, and move through the contraction.

Remember, birth is a series of contractions and expansion, so honor yourself with compassion if your birthing process appears challenging and painful from time to time. We don't need to understand "why," we just need to allow it to unfold.  Move with the rhythm of your contractions, rather than fighting them.  Pause and rest in the spaces inbetween.  Anyone who has given birth knows what I mean.  Allow the feelings to arise, name them, breathe into them and ask them to move through you for your highest healing.  Move with the shift, not against it.

What are you noticing about yourself and others at this time?  We would love to hear about your experiences!

~Caroline~

Tao Girl Guest Blog...

Friend, author, and founder of all things empowering, CJ Golden posted one of our earlier blogs as a guest blog on her site www.taogirl.com. Please visit and check out the stimulating blog reader comments: http://www.taogirl.com/tao-women/2012/06/black-tux-with-white-sneakers/#comments. Then be sure to explore CJ's website with all that it has to offer. She is committed to improving the self-esteem and self-worth of girls and women wherever she goes and we are so proud to support her in her endeavors. Author of the books The Tao of the Defiant Woman and Tao-Girls Rule!, CJ defies the stereotypical grandmother and is a powerhouse of energy and positivity! You just may find yourself wanting to be part of her community! Thank you, CJ, for all that you do and all that you are! With great appreciation, Lisa & Caroline  

 

Death as a reminder of life

The death of a loved one reminds me to live my life more fully Last week, my brother-in-law died suddenly and unexpectedly from a cerebral hemorrhage, leaving my sister, her grown children and the rest of my small family shocked and bereft.  Twenty years older than me, I had known him for over 40 years, meeting him for the first time in my teens, and somehow life without him will never be the same again.  For my children and myself, he and my sister represent our “home” in the UK – he having been the patriarch of the family unit now my parents are also gone.  On a high from my son’s graduation from college, such bad news received in an instant across the airwaves changed everything in those few seconds hearing my niece say, “Dad died this morning.”

I’ve been lucky enough to be on vacation this past week, spending time on a “road trip” with my youngest son post-graduation, and meeting up with my older children in San Francisco.  Timing of this news was “kind” in its own way – we were together as a family and I could, for once, deliver the news first-hand.  We were able to hold each other and cry together, holding from 6,000 miles away the immediate pain of my sister, niece and nephew in the UK.  We loved, we laughed and we cried together.  It was a week of both extreme joy and sorrow, racing from one emotion to another on a seemingly never-ending rollercoaster.  None of us got to say goodbye, but we all had peace in our hearts knowing deep down that we were lucky to have loved and been loved by such a special man.  Each and every moment was precious.

Sometimes I hesitate to take time from my busy work schedule to take that trip to see family and dear friends, many of who live far away.  Sometimes, I have made excuses about money or time or some other lame reason not to get on a plane and spend time with those I love.   All too often I have allowed life to become too busy or stressful, forgetting what is really important and where my values really lie.  Richard’s sudden death has reminded me of the truth of how fragile life is, of how precious every moment spent being present with a loved one is, and how, despite all our vain attempts to plan and control and worry about the future, in the end we only have THIS very moment to enjoy and drink in with all our senses.  So, this past week, in the midst of the helplessness and sadness I felt in my loss, I chose to put down my worries. I watched elephant seals spur on the beach in the Californian sunshine, I watched the sunsets and the sunrises on the Big Sur coast, I roasted marshmallows over a campfire, I took long hikes in the redwoods.  I delighted in the smiles and tears (and yes, annoyances!) of my now grown children and - despite the pain of my loss – I lived in the present and with carefree love and abandon.  Even in the midst of our sorrow, we were reminded of the truth that we can choose to live our lives fully in the present – and that is the gift we have all been given, the gift of our beautiful individual, unique and fragile lives, full of both unexpected joy and unexpected sorrow.  My challenge to you?  Tell someone you love him or her today, smile at a stranger, notice a flower in bloom, and take a moment to breathe with awe.  Live every day as if it were your first and your last as I did this past week.  What I know to be true is that I have been reminded to do just that, and for that I am grateful.

~Caroline~

Whose Life are We Living?

We spend the first half of our lives being indoctrinated into a way of being - how to think, behave, fit in. We then spend the second half of our lives living with the consequences of following the crowd. From the time we are infants we are receiving input from our parents and caregivers about our safety, our self-worth, our emotional peace. And while this is not about placing blame or shirking one's own responsibility for becoming our own person, it is about creating a keen awareness of when we are making decisions or living our lives based on outside influences.

Do we unconsciously behave in a way intended to make us feel superior, win approval, or conversely to rebel against the norm? Do we unconsciously dress, work, play, based upon an image of a life defined by the commercial advertising world?

Our health may be compromised as we try to live a life defined by others. Our emotional state of well being may be riddled with anxiety based on not living up to the expectations of others.

Isn’t it time to step into who we really are and do it now?! Pay attention to the decision or action of the moment. Does it make you feel better? Is that better feeling based upon what others think? Or is that better feeling based upon an inner alignment that tells you all is right with the world?

It may be hard to differentiate at first. The feeling inside of you that can only be defined by yourself and not by others has so long been hidden away that it’s often unrecognizable. As with all progress it begins with incremental steps. Just notice. The more you notice the more you will start to tap in to the true origin of the feeling.

Using the words What I Know to Be True will allow you to tap into that place more and more easily to determine if you are in alignment with your own Truth. Practice. Practice. Practice. Each and every time you catch yourself reacting, deciding, behaving by default, you will be that much closer to living the life that is yours and yours alone.

~Lisa

I hate confrontation!

Yes, I hate confrontation!!  But I’m getting better at not avoiding it – and being gently assertive - especially now I understand that it’s a natural part of a healthy relationship.  My dislike of it goes back to when I was a child.  My parents never argued or had any verbal confrontation.  I remember when I was away at boarding school, I was teased when I told the other kids that my parents didn’t fight.  Not only teased, but accused of lying too.  It was true, I never heard my parents fight, but of course they must have had disagreements from time to time.  They just didn't talk about it.  However, I can think back to my mother who used to purse her lips when she was displeased, and so I learned to “listen” for her displeasure and do what I could to avoid it.   Many years later, I now know that confrontation is a natural part of life and relationship that, when worked through in a healthy way, can deepen and enhance the relationship.   Sometimes speaking your truth means taking the risk that someone else will be disappointed or angry, and that’s OK. Too often we make decisions (or don’t make decisions!) because of our fears of confrontation.  This fear causes us to dishonor our truth and our authentic self, taking us further off course.  Have you ever explored your own fears of confrontation – how it feels when you’re afraid that someone may be mad at you or, even worse, not like you.  Where is this rooted for you?  What is your pattern?  Do you say “yes” when you mean “no” for fear of another person’s anger or disappointment?  Turn the mirror around and notice the dissonance between your actions, words and the inner Truth that you really wish you could verbalize.

How do you begin to change this old pattern that often leaves you feeling uncomfortable and resentful?  Simple - Drop into what you know to be True!  “What I know to be true is that even though I’m feeling afraid of being clear and direct with another person for fear of confrontation, I will feel empowered if I honor my own Truth, regardless of the outcome.”  “WIKTBT is that I am only responsible for my own words and actions, not those of another.”  Practice speaking up in small ways with safe people and see how it feels to assert and empower yourself in this way!

Just try it!

~Caroline~

We Don't All Have to Be Oprah! (or even get on "Oprah")

There’s a great scene in the movie Field of Dreams when Kevin Costner’s character challenges Burt Lancaster’s, a baseball player who never reached the major league and instead became a small-town doctor: “Fifty years ago, for five minutes you came within…you came this close. It would KILL some men to get so close to their dream and not touch it. God, they’d consider it a tragedy.” Lancaster’s Archie “Moonlight” Graham replies, “Son, if I’d only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes…now that would have been a tragedy.”

There’s a lot of conversation these days about the universal need for each of us to step into who we really are. How we should follow our passion, follow our bliss, and then all will be right with our world.

Great advice. Not always so easy to follow.

Perhaps part of the reason is that as a society we have come to equate stepping into our power with stepping into the limelight. Our celebrity-driven culture places tremendous emphasis on being front and center, being able to wow the crowd, be as visible as possible, speak intelligently and articulately in front of an audience, motivate others.

But all types of energies are required to make the world flourish And not all of them need to be Oprah!

So, follow your heart, wherever it leads, and if it doesn’t lead you into the spotlight, be like Archie Graham and cherish that path for what it is, where it takes you, and how it touches others along the way.

~Lisa

Let it Be, Let it Be, Let it Be, Let it Be.....

In preparing myself to record the guided meditations we have been offering, I am given the confirmation of the freedom that comes from knowing, trusting and living in my Truth. Not only to trust that each meditation will be “right” just as it is, for whoever listens to it, but to give up my ego’s desire for perfection. It is another opportunity to quiet my ego mind and drop back into the truth of my spirit, my essence. I have handed it over, as it were, and found that each meditation has been channeled to me effortlessly. The Beatles sang about it in their hit song, LET IT BE…. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be There will be an answer, let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

If you are mindful and present today – or any day – you will doubtless find many such opportunities where the ego tries to take over by questioning whether or not you did something “right.” I have started just gently acknowledging it and saying “thank you and goodbye,” before returning to the space of allowing things to just “be.” The simple steps remain the same – cultivate your awareness of the feelings that tell you that you are out of alignment with your True authentic Self; trust that your Truth will guide you wisely and perfectly, and make the necessary course correction so you can live in your Truth more readily and often. Listen to What I Know to Be True meditations on www.soundcloud.com, search whatiknowtobetrue.

~ Caroline

THE POWER OF THE PAUSE - 10 TIPS TO HELP YOU FEEL MORE GROUNDED

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, just PAUSE for a moment and take a breath. Feel what it’s like to just be in the space in between for a moment or two, to freeze the frame, as it were. Learning to pause is one of the most important tools you can use to surf the waves of discomfort, anxiety and urges to “do” more.Try it; just PAUSE and observe yourself in the present. You can train yourself not to turn life into one big emergency by learning to surf the waves of challenge in your life. After all, we don’t really have a choice because THIS moment is actually the only one we can ever really be in – so every effort spent trying to be in the future (or the past) is wasted energy! But it’s natural to want to be some place else because the present is sometimes uncomfortable.

The practice of What I know to be True will help you ground in the present and tap you into the still space of your heart wisdom, whatever storm is raging outside. Using that wisdom, you can choose a different response to the external pain.

Here are 10 tips to help you feel more grounded:

1. Quiet your internal system. Avoid stimulants, excessive sugar and exposure to news. Avoid stimulants that cause you anxiety and cause the release of stress hormones. Gravitate towards people, places and things that calm you.

2. Practice observing your breath. Be in awe of it – it is your life, after all, for without it, we are no longer alive.

3. Practice breathing from deep in the belly. When anxious or worried, you tend to breathe more quickly and shallowly from the upper chest instead of the belly. Belly breathing helps to calm your nervous system and reduce the release of stress hormones.

4. Engage in aerobic exercise which can reduce anxiety by increasing serotonin and dopamine, the calming neurotransmitters.

5. Body work, such as massage, reiki, acupuncture will help to reconnect you with your body and ground you.

6. Change your thinking.

7. Seek the bigger picture/the bigger meaning. Zoom out of your life from time to time to get a new perspective.

8. Be in the now. Bring your attention back to the present moment. This gives you the opportunity to stop, observe and choose an action that will help you IN THIS MOMENT.

9. Meditate to find the calm inside at a deeper level of awareness and knowing. Seek what you know to be true, not what others say is true for you.

10. Cultivate your awareness by recognizing your own early warning signs - physical, mental and emotional. Use the power of the pause to practice mindfulness and attune yourself to your authentic, wise self.

And remember to use the practice of What I Know to Be True as often as you can! www.whatiknowtobetrue.com

If I don't know where I'm going, how am I going to get there?

I was perusing through Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book “Wherever I Go, There I Am” and got to thinking.  My next thought was, if I don’t know where I’m going, how am I ever going to get there?  I don’t know about you, but it was many years before I learned how to observe myself and be mindful of what was happening to me.  Before that, I wasn’t really aware of my natural internal compass or GPS that always guides me back “on course” if I just trust it – and that is my Inner Truth, not the "rules" that were set out for me by others. Think of a plane that is setting course for a flight from New York to LA – the course is programmed into the computer, but along the way the pilot makes adjustments according to wind and weather, air traffic etc.  This is a metaphor for life – making adjustments according to outside factors that effect and often change or upset our plans.  We often allow ourselves to get buffeted about by those outside forces, feel out of control and forget to gently steer ourselves back on course.  But we have to know what “on course” feels like in order to come back to it.  “Course” to me has become that place of knowing, of being at one with myself, of congruence and alignment between what I say, think, feel and do – that place of Truth deep within.  Practice helps us to know it.

It’s so much easier to correct your course if you know where you’re going, and to do that, you have to be aware of your own GPS, or Truth, that is known only to you.  What I Know to Be True will help you become familiar with your destination and will act as your own personal GPS to navigate the outside weather and correct your course again.  It will teach you the awareness you need to know your Truth, trust your Truth, and live by it.

~ Caroline ~

Black Tux with White Sneakers

My father wore white sneakers with his black tux to my sister’s wedding. They were brand new, bright white sparkling clean sneakers, but they were sneakers. And he looked great. He was teaching us, as he often did through example, that we should always be our own person. “You’re the only one who has to put your head on the pillow each night,” he would say. Such great advice, so hard to follow! We are so conditioned to live by the precepts of others. What to do, what to wear, what to say, how to behave. Wouldn’t it be such a relief if we were able to stop worrying about what others think, stop trying so hard to change ourselves in order to gain acceptance, and start living as who we really are?!

This morning, rather than attend to the very lengthy to-do list that calls to me each day, my husband and I went for a roller-blade at the beach. In the past I would have first addressed those things that I “should do” before allowing myself to do something for the sheer pleasure of it.

Today, the weather was clear and cool, the water calm and sparkling, and spending time with my husband while exercising and stimulating my energy flow started the day off perfectly. Now, back at my desk, I am able to focus on the “have-to’s” effortlessly.

[While we were out my husband found a $10 bill in the grass. It’s the small miracles that happen when we allow ourselves to step out of our boundaries and explore.]

Don’t you just feel better when you follow your own way of Being? Try it. A little each day. Find one little thing where you can rebel against the norm – not in a way that is inconsiderate to yourself or others of course – but one little thing that you can adjust in your daily life which better reflects who you are.

Tune into something that you continue to do by habit because your mother taught you to do it that way, your peers expected it of you, your work place dictated it to you. Find that one little thing and shift it. The next week find one other little thing and shift that. Before you know it you’ll be shifting more effortlessly into a way of being that expresses the true you, the you whose heart sings, not the you who has learned how to get along in this world by fulfilling the expectations of others.

Wouldn’t it be a most fabulous world if everyone could express themselves in a way that honored their true selves and we could each appreciate that true self for who they/we are, not who we think they/we should be.

The practice of What I Know to Be True helps you confirm and nourish your inner power so you can live without the approval or blessing of another. Embrace your True self each and every day. Honor and express your own Truth each and every day. You will transform!  ~Lisa

The Sound of Silence

My brother-in-law lives in an old Quaker meetinghouse in the heart of the English countryside, so yesterday I decided to attend a meeting for the first time. I was struck by the simplicity of the gathering – really more like a meditation. I believe it differs from meditation in its group vs individual energy of connection. The meetings are considered a place for connection to each other, one’s inner truth and integrity, love and compassion for your fellow people and a place to connect with God in silence and quiet. During the hour of silence, 2 or 3 people shared a short reading or reflection. There was no discussion of what was shared – it was just a place to “be” with what was shared and for each person to take away whatever resonated. I was struck by the energy of the love that I felt in this shared place of reflection, much as I do when meditating in a group. I was also struck by some of the words that were shared – “a softening of ourselves, a blending, a contrast between light and dark, silence and sound, the release and acceptance of ourselves as we are IN THE PRESENT, not as we were or as we will be. The invitation was offered to allow the experience to unfold in the silence, without analysis.

I couldn’t ignore the similarity to What I Know to Be True’s invitation to cultivate awareness through mindfulness and meditation, by tapping into a deeper connection with ourselves and the universe at large, listening for that inner wisdom in the silence.   ~Caroline